Michael's Journal

11:24am:

LJMeme.com Crush Meme

Number of crushes on me so far: 2

LJ username:

1:14pm: I let myself down. Why cant I stop complaining?!

1:00am: fuck you too.
                                    Hail moses??? HAIL god???                                    Hail Hitler???

6:08pm: goodbye
bye lj, for good this time

11:36am: too bad i let myself down
Looking back at me I see
That I never really got it right
I never stopped to think of you
I'm always wrapped up in
Things I cannot win
You are the antidote that gets me by
Something strong
Like a drug that gets me high

What I really meant to say
Is I'm sorry for the way I am
I never meant to be so cold

And I'm sorry about all the lies
Maybe in a different light
You could see me stand on my own again
Cause now i can see
You were the antidote that got me by
Something strong like a drug that got me high

I never meant to be so cold

I never really wanted you to see
The screwed up side of me that I keep
Locked inside of me so deep
It always seems to get to me
I never really wanted you to go
So many things you should have known
I guess for me theres just no hope
I never meant to be so cold

4:56pm: ooooooffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffffff

Are you hott? by evildj23
First Name
Age
Guy or Gal
Your hottness is	3...ok so i might talk to you
Quiz created with MemeGen!

11:41pm: not like i care anyways
so i guess i didn't really want to go to the movies after all. LOL, luv ya kati

chillin wit tom cuz hes cool, friday ourchases are the shiznit, already got one sharp object bought, 100 more to go.

work 12-5 today and tomorrow.


"If it mattered much, id tell you how much i think you are beautiful."

10:33pm: bla bla blankness in ur head
my urge for making out is unbelievable, always wanting what i can't get.

i am in no way vocal about all my thoughts, lol

12:58pm: what to do when you're SUICIDAL
Play a game with a friend.
Call a friend.
Never write poetry.
Never swim.
Never go for a drive.
Never go drink.
Never take a shower.
Never sit by a fire.
Never be alone.
Never "tell off" someone.
Never do many of the things shrinks tell you.


:)

9:19pm: shoot me in the face
new phone

more reasons

less will

7:19pm: shit nigga, smack urself
cns maybe,

more money less work,


drunk tonight?



burning banana!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



snow driving in my P.O.S.


loving someone but being so confused about the situation



hating myself for my past choices

11:26am: i found something
hahahahahahahahaha

this is somethign i want and will eventually get....

http://www.verizonwireless.com/b2c/store/phonePopup?item=phoneFirst&phoneId=1580

1:39pm: dying in my own sorrow
so yea the last couple weeks have been very eventful. very eventful. Lol

So many things have happened and only a couple were actually good.

I need to make sure i go to school for now on. My moms is getting angry with me and that's not cool. I like sleep though. It passes time. A good thing when my day usually doesnt start till like 8pm.

Next week i start working 10-6's. And making the big 8 bucks an hour. yea yea

Im waiting to go hang out with tomas. He's a cool kid, so is aj. they're cool kids, bia.

7:24pm: something better, something old
well here's somethign everyone is gonna like. Made up with ash which is nice, for me at least. Lied to myself and everyone else. Told myself this new years will be a good one. I even tried to make up with kait, thats still pending. We'll have to talk when you are not ummmmm.......you know right?



fuck you all if you dont have anything good to say about me. I'm trying to fix my life up piece by piece.


cya

12:31pm: new year, new slate
i guess i should mention a few names that apologies should go out to. Whatever I did i probly did it out of my own selfishness and or anger. If i hurt you i apologize, well if you hurt me at the same time we're even :P. But some thigns i have done to people were just wrong. heres the names that my apology goes out to.....if your not on here i dont think i should apologize to you.
Look at the Names:
the farley's...rachel, alana, and craig
dan
monkey
jess
annette
ash
joe
tom
a.j.
kait
amanda
debbie


thats about all the people. its an internet apology because i suck too much to apologize to everyone in person or on the phone. also because some i didn't really do anything wrong to, i just am sorry for being me around them. Hope you new years is as pleasant as it can be. cya

11:46am: when it rains, it pours
its all a game they told, you'll never be able to cheat. But I want to fucking cheat! I want to cheat my way all the way to the end.

Yesterday was pretty fuckign shitty. So many things kept happening that i was wondering when i could fall asleep. I kept on telling myself nothing else could happen, shit happened.

"you always find out how valuable you are in the end." when is the end coming??

9:49pm: yes i know
yea i suck, and what else do you have to throw at me now?

3:33am: ( writings from the night )


im bouts to go sleep

3:03am: these feelings should just fucking go away, i thought i wasn't supposed to be able to care.


oh yea, so u peoples dont get me fucking with ur head, new sn is failuretomeee

11:30pm: i shoudlnt enve asy ti
it's all good when you're alright

i think about it when im thinking about you

only when im dreaming does it make sense

im trying my hardest not to be just like you

i hate everything about you

cuts my wrists and black my eyes








for some odd reason i typed that, maybe it has something to do with thoughts.

i need the kazaa lite download file......any helpers?????

fuck crazy ex's

obsession isn't cool, you know?

6:29pm: life is peachy life is great, now go fuck yourself :)
its okay to feel fragile right, like you could be broken at the blink of an eye? It's okay to sink to the ground and not even make an attempt to get up? When you just don't giev a fuck about what you used to it's okay to just say "fuck it" and do something else worth while?

I thought about a lot of shit yesterday.....i shouldn't have to be honest. Thinking is never any good for me.
I figured out a couple thjings that I'm gonna just have to deal with and some things that i can fix and change whenever the fuck i want to. I'm quite annoyed about how weak i am though. I make myself look like im an overall strong person mentally, but im far from it.........why bother anymore.


im drinking a red bull right now...maybe it will give me a kick in the ass to do a little bit more tonight. Im the assistant manager now. I actually am though! Why anyone would choose me to be in that sort of position is beyond me but hey, can anyone say pay raise???????



cya

6:21pm: resolution is...i have none
happy mutha fucking drinking new years to yall fuckers.

cya

3:29pm: hot digity damn he fucked the van
i fucking hate you

1:17pm: alcohol has touched my lips every single day this week.......i like it.

Tonight im gonna try and attempt to chill wit tom and aj. depending on how busy they are.

kind of took yesterday to do what i needed. I felt so fucking angry at everything the other day. I wanted to die at one point. I hated myself so much for everything i did and am doing. I think i figured out what im gonna do to better myself. Knowing me i won't be bettering myself for long.


My car is washed and my window is fixed.


gonna work out, eat, and then try to find tom at the mall. cya

10:32pm: ive come to realize i do suck.

I have a horrible personality. I have a horrible thought process. I have awful habits.
Im worst than what you want me to think.

I found out i can't spell simple fucking words tonight. My fingers are really fucking cold so it hurts to type right now.

i hope everyone has a nice new years......no i dont..... but i can still try.


"We aint got nutin to lose buts our selves." I thought thast up right now, it sounds like something a retarded gangsta might say.